Friday, May 22, 2015

Maybe


Today was a good day at school. In the usual fashion of teachers day celebrations, we teachers were put up on a pedestal and appreciated.. There were tears (from some including moi) during the speech by our deputy head - she always gives a killer speech - and then there was laughter and excitement during our performances! This time round all departments braved themselves to stage a show. Was fun! I think we're naturals.. haha. Not forgetting the cupcakes and hand made cards.. best part ever :)
In short, I think we made the students' day.

Picking up from what was mentioned in the speech was something that went like this: `teachers at *** don't breathe oxygen but it is the students who become the air they breathe'.. Wow. Really? Like really, really?.. Erm.. I suppose it is partly true. The moment you get to the college, the life you're leading there revolves around them. Teaching them, assessing them, scolding them, advising them, cheering them on, writing about them, talking about them... it's really an endless list. And that is simply the life we lead almost everyday from 8.00 to 5.00.. (some days 4..). And that is the life I have always cherished and loved.

Which is why I surprised myself when about 2 months ago I started imagining a life that involved me leaving this `teaching life' I've been leading for almost 16 years. Stemmed by a lot of reasons, one being getting to spend more time with you my dear, I played around with the idea. I imagined a much `freer' life with no punch clocks, no long drives back from work (since we have to go back late these days I get stuck in traffic jams!! ), no meetings, more time for you, more time for me, doing `other things' besides teaching i.e working from home.. etc...

Then I also had a moment of `clarity' and thought about how silly the idea would be to leave. To leave something I'm passionate about. Something I'm good at.. I thought about what it would feel to get out of the comfort zone I'm in. And go to a less `comfortable' place.. or maybe even a more comfortable place. And I thought, could I go through it? Would I eventually do it?

I don't have the answers yet. Maybe I just have to do it to find out. Maybe.

May Allah guide your Mama to the right path..

Till next time.  XOXO

ps/ you telling me a lot lately that you like it when I stay at home and not go to work adds on the pressure!.. :D


pss/ omg! After I wrote this post, I went browsing through my older posts, and discovered I actually wrote about this same topic 3 years ago.. lol.. Maybe I'm just going through a phase.. maybe.. arrgh!




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