Sunday, October 8, 2017

Aging?

Something I've been discussing in class with my kids lately has led me to think of the many possibilities that all of us have in life. Regardless of our age.
In the case of me, this 40 something, some things are still quite possible, right?
The thing is I may be in denial in some aspects because I'd still like to have the drive to be able to do things I like even if some people call me `makcik' ... (seriously hate that title and I know I don't deserve it) Sometimes I think that age is just a number so just do it. Some other days I chicken out on things and decide never to ride a roller coaster ever again. Some nights I want to stay up watching Korean dramas (and I do sometimes) and some days I just wanna sleep at 8pm.
So I suppose 'aging' does that to you. Either it makes you think of what you can no longer do, or what you still can..or simply the why-not-do-it-regardless attitude.Yet of course, growing older reminds me most of the time to be wiser and smarter. To be more careful and responsible. To remember that time is short and soon we will leave this world. One can't really stay in the same mind of a 16 year old I suppose. Things get better. We turn into better people. I was awkward, sloppy and most likely nerdy in my younger days.. now I'm confident, I can dress well and maybe I'm still nerdy minus the thick glasses haha.
Point is, we grow and mature but we can still keep on pushing ourselves to keep up with the times and stay young at heart :)  I  believe we can still let our hair down once in a while and keep that part of us who still knows how to have fun. Believe me, it's for our own sake and lets us become real people. Authentic.
Play time with my daughter means I can be a child all over again. Talking and laughing with my students makes me feel young too.. (at times).. so that's what it means to just ignore that number you have attached to you.
On my good positive days all that I've written here seems oh so possible.. So let's just enjoy it while it lasts ;)







Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Change

I'd like to say that I'm too busy to write but it would be a poor excuse since I've started writing articles for one of my favourite online shopping sites.. So, here I am going back to where it all started, my blog :D


It's the middle of semester for us teachers here and everyone is in festive mode - or should i say holiday mode so I'm feeling a little reflective.


Anyway, lately I've been rained with a few important decisions to make. Decisions that can change one person's life or even many peoples lives; ulitmately my life. Which then led me to see the truth in the saying that 'the only thing that is constant is change'.


So here's the thing - everyone must go through a change in their life and everyone gets scared of the unknown. Some even try to avoid change and are adamant in remaining the same forever. But if life was just so predictable then that would mean we would lack the opportunities to go through an adventure, to persevere and be patient during a challenging time, we might not grow and develop, we won't know the meaning of `surprise' and we won't appreciate the blessings in disguise. For with every turn of event, I believe there is a reason behind it.


All we need is to find that reason and have faith that what's in store for us has already been written.


So change can be liberating, change can be unwanted. But ultimately we all need it one day.


What's left is to be brave to make those changes and to accept it.


;)











Thursday, July 6, 2017

Clear blue skies

The weather these days remind me of hot summer days I used to experience back in England.
The sky was a bright blue, the sun shone all day and everyone's mood was as bright as the sun :)
As this is the first week of getting back into the groove (of working) and all things related, so just like the weather, mood wise, everyone is still in the raya mode which means we're as happy as a lark! Well almost.


And in times like this sometimes, one can also suddenly get a moment of clarity. Or maybe that's just me. Driving my one hour route back home gives me a lot of time alone to think (and sing out loud).
It's not that I get many decisions made or anything. The point is that I get to think. An action that sometimes you don't get to do alone when you're dealing with many other things at one time... ie. house chores, kids' attention, etc.


So, yes, I cherish my drive back home even though I absolutely hate being stuck in bad jams and getting home all tired and moody.. sorry family :(


Anyway, this is my first post in 2017 and I just thought the title was appropriate to start it even though it's already July!


Hope you're having a great clear blue sky day yourself.


Love lots.



Wednesday, May 4, 2016

While you sleep

It's on days like today that I always feel like reflecting. The day when I get caught in a bad traffic jam, get home late and find you fast asleep. 
It's not the first time, but thank God it's also not quite often that you do this. Lately you've been making yourself stay awake just to play.. 😅 i don't mind that much. We get to spend time and that's important.. 
But since I left the house this morning for work and you were still sleeping, it's made me heart break a little 💔
I know that you don't like me coming home late. I recall you actually saying while playing house with your cousin that  'mama' deserves the cold treatment cuz 'she' came home late.. :(((
Though I know this too shall pass it still makes me feel bad.. 
But Mama always tries to make it up to you right?.. I pray for better times and more quality time with you and Daddy..
Love you dearly.
Xoxo

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Pause

It's the hottest day of the year. Well that's what the news has been warning the whole nation since last week. Alhamdulillah for air-conds and high ceilings it's not so bad where we're at right now. Plus it just started raining!


Tomorrow school starts again and after a week of holiday I must say I'm raring to go back to work. Aww shucks.. that's just how it is.. sorry Wawa. I know you'd like to think Mama should be on holiday forever. :p


It's March, I know. Loads of things have happened. Pivotal moments in our lives.. Yet I have failed to find time to write here. Shame on me.


Something I read recently reminded me yet again to savour moments that pass by quickly. For it is so easy in life to go about our daily routines in a kind of trance till all experiences and memories kinda blur into one another when we don't take time to appreciate them.


For me at least I think some have already been blurred into one another.. But maybe if we stop to pause once in a while we'll get to really see them with much more meaning.
I'm pausing right now. To write a moment. To appreciate time given to me. Thank you Allah..


Till another time my dear.


XOXO



Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Go live that life

I seem to be contemplating a different kind of life lately. A life where I'm not so binded by orders (at work)  and routine. A life where I can appreciate more of life. Do more with life. Spend more time with family. Spend more time with you. Spend more time for me. Take a brisk walk in the morning. Finish a book. Memorize a surah. Perform more prayers besides the 5 I have to..


These images will be possible if circumstances were different of course.


So dream on then I say to myself.. or should I be saying go live your dream, Shereen!


I guess it's true that as you get older you start having these profound thoughts, an epiphany or something like that, that tells you life is more than just what you're doing. Why is that, you ask? Maybe it's because you start feeling time is slipping away, grey hairs are popping out and your knees are not so strong, and so is your memory.. You start wanting to listen to people talk, the news etc rather than radio stations that play nothing but famous tunes.. These things then hit you like a pile of bricks and you're like, whoa, hold on, I'm not that old yet.. but am I?


But of course all of this is part of the cycle of life right? As a young person you'll have a lot of questions, ideals, dreams and ambitions.. Later in life you get the answers, you see the bigger picture and sometimes sadly, you finally get what life is really supposed to be. Well better late than never.


But here's the thing, our existence on this earth is not to live a leisurely life all the way.. Life is a struggle. You have to struggle to live. You have to learn the hard way. You have to be obedient, follow rules, have faith in religion, follow a straight path.. You have to pave your way to a happy ending in your after life. You have to. Because in akhirah we have to face the consequences of all our actions. So why not start by doing everything right from the start. Struggle. Work hard. For where you're heading will be eternal and endless.


Yet I'd like to still think that if dreaming of a better life  on earth means yearning for a life with more quality in order to help you get a ticket to Jannah, a good after life .. go live that life! Before it's too late..


XOXO



Thursday, October 15, 2015

the mid-life crisis?

It probably is so cliche that when you turn 40, yes, I am 40 already, you suddenly start thinking of one of these two things: `life is only just beginning' or `I think I'm going through a mid-life crisis'..


I suppose you could say I've been feeling that way lately.. I mean about both of the things I just mentioned.. Help!


Ok maybe I'm being a bit dramatic but I do feel something different having turned this new age.. If only I can stick to the saying that age is just a number..


Well anyway, you recently turned 4.. an adorable age to be at.. and a challenging one for Mama and Daddy. You also seemed to be in some sort of denial wanting to remain 3 years old after realizing that we had to change your milk when you turned a year older.. haha.. you're so cute..


Anyway back to Mama's issues.. I believe you are partly to blame for these thoughts Mama is having. The need to want to spend more time with you and actually raise you properly has made me once again indulge in the idea of working from home.. Ah.. the fantasy of every woman.. well, maybe most women.. or should that be some only.. :D


It bugs me that I'm at this point once again and still can't do much about it (yet)..


On the other hand your Atuk, my Papa, who is turning 70 next month still wants to work! Kinda puts me to shame for planting these ideas in my head.. But then again, I can't be wrong either to want to do something as noble as raising my own child..


So, here I am writing in this blog that is not worthy of a blog due to these sparse entries... Gosh where did my better version go to.. Sorry if this entry is crappy.. Mama will come back and write award winning like entries.. just you wait..


I love you Wawa. Please don't judge me.. :P

Aging?

Something I've been discussing in class with my kids lately has led me to think of the many possibilities that all of us have in life. ...