Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Go live that life

I seem to be contemplating a different kind of life lately. A life where I'm not so binded by orders (at work)  and routine. A life where I can appreciate more of life. Do more with life. Spend more time with family. Spend more time with you. Spend more time for me. Take a brisk walk in the morning. Finish a book. Memorize a surah. Perform more prayers besides the 5 I have to..

These images will be possible if circumstances were different of course.

So dream on then I say to myself.. or should I be saying go live your dream, Shereen!

I guess it's true that as you get older you start having these profound thoughts, an epiphany or something like that, that tells you life is more than just what you're doing. Why is that, you ask? Maybe it's because you start feeling time is slipping away, grey hairs are popping out and your knees are not so strong, and so is your memory.. You start wanting to listen to people talk, the news etc rather than radio stations that play nothing but famous tunes.. These things then hit you like a pile of bricks and you're like, whoa, hold on, I'm not that old yet.. but am I?

But of course all of this is part of the cycle of life right? As a young person you'll have a lot of questions, ideals, dreams and ambitions.. Later in life you get the answers, you see the bigger picture and sometimes sadly, you finally get what life is really supposed to be. Well better late than never.

But here's the thing, our existence on this earth is not to live a leisurely life all the way.. Life is a struggle. You have to struggle to live. You have to learn the hard way. You have to be obedient, follow rules, have faith in religion, follow a straight path.. You have to pave your way to a happy ending in your after life. You have to. Because in akhirah we have to face the consequences of all our actions. So why not start by doing everything right from the start. Struggle. Work hard. For where you're heading will be eternal and endless.

Yet I'd like to still think that if dreaming of a better life  on earth means yearning for a life with more quality in order to help you get a ticket to Jannah, a good after life .. go live that life! Before it's too late..


Thursday, October 15, 2015

the mid-life crisis?

It probably is so cliche that when you turn 40, yes, I am 40 already, you suddenly start thinking of one of these two things: `life is only just beginning' or `I think I'm going through a mid-life crisis'..

I suppose you could say I've been feeling that way lately.. I mean about both of the things I just mentioned.. Help!

Ok maybe I'm being a bit dramatic but I do feel something different having turned this new age.. If only I can stick to the saying that age is just a number..

Well anyway, you recently turned 4.. an adorable age to be at.. and a challenging one for Mama and Daddy. You also seemed to be in some sort of denial wanting to remain 3 years old after realizing that we had to change your milk when you turned a year older.. haha.. you're so cute..

Anyway back to Mama's issues.. I believe you are partly to blame for these thoughts Mama is having. The need to want to spend more time with you and actually raise you properly has made me once again indulge in the idea of working from home.. Ah.. the fantasy of every woman.. well, maybe most women.. or should that be some only.. :D

It bugs me that I'm at this point once again and still can't do much about it (yet)..

On the other hand your Atuk, my Papa, who is turning 70 next month still wants to work! Kinda puts me to shame for planting these ideas in my head.. But then again, I can't be wrong either to want to do something as noble as raising my own child..

So, here I am writing in this blog that is not worthy of a blog due to these sparse entries... Gosh where did my better version go to.. Sorry if this entry is crappy.. Mama will come back and write award winning like entries.. just you wait..

I love you Wawa. Please don't judge me.. :P

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

After midnight

It's past midnight and this headache (and some noises I'm hearing) aren't letting 
me fall asleep so easily and so for the past 15 mins or so I've actually been reading my past blog entries.. Talk about bedtime reading.. :p
Reading them made me realize I somehow have lost my writing touch and left this blog for too long that maybe I shouldn't claim that I own one!
But I plan to get it back.. Just like I plan (quite loosely) to get back the figure I had about 5 years ago. And so.. something.must.be.done. Fast. 

Watch this space.. 

And now back to counting some sheep.. 


Monday, May 25, 2015

Beauty within

 Couple of months ago in class I was talking to my students about how me and them were ages apart.. And how we are separated by a generation gap.. To their surprise (well, some of them) and to my surprise, they didn’t seem to think what I was saying was true.. And so that day went by in me being in a state of temporary happiness having been thought I was younger than my age! :p
When of course my dear I am beginning to feel the signs of aging and whatever else that comes with it. And so that is life.. one moment you’re looking up for beauty tips to clear up acne then the next minute you’re trying on anti-wrinkle cream or worse, using an ingenious app on your phone that transforms your picture into some flawless young version of you.. Not that I’ve tried any of the latter.. but I’m just saying..
Anyway my dearest Wawa, I pray Allah gives me the time and health to be there for you if you need any beauty tips in the future. I may not be able to look like your sister or a young and stylish mum by the time you reach that age where your looks matter, but at least I’ll be able to give you some sound advice.. ;)
The most important thing is to be beautiful all around.. especially inside. Have a kind heart, think good of others and always remain positive..
Whoever beautifies himself on the inside, Allah will beautify him on the outside.
-Ali ibn Abi Talib-

Friday, May 22, 2015


Today was a good day at school. In the usual fashion of teachers day celebrations, we teachers were put up on a pedestal and appreciated.. There were tears (from some including moi) during the speech by our deputy head - she always gives a killer speech - and then there was laughter and excitement during our performances! This time round all departments braved themselves to stage a show. Was fun! I think we're naturals.. haha. Not forgetting the cupcakes and hand made cards.. best part ever :)
In short, I think we made the students' day.

Picking up from what was mentioned in the speech was something that went like this: `teachers at *** don't breathe oxygen but it is the students who become the air they breathe'.. Wow. Really? Like really, really?.. Erm.. I suppose it is partly true. The moment you get to the college, the life you're leading there revolves around them. Teaching them, assessing them, scolding them, advising them, cheering them on, writing about them, talking about them... it's really an endless list. And that is simply the life we lead almost everyday from 8.00 to 5.00.. (some days 4..). And that is the life I have always cherished and loved.

Which is why I surprised myself when about 2 months ago I started imagining a life that involved me leaving this `teaching life' I've been leading for almost 16 years. Stemmed by a lot of reasons, one being getting to spend more time with you my dear, I played around with the idea. I imagined a much `freer' life with no punch clocks, no long drives back from work (since we have to go back late these days I get stuck in traffic jams!! ), no meetings, more time for you, more time for me, doing `other things' besides teaching i.e working from home.. etc...

Then I also had a moment of `clarity' and thought about how silly the idea would be to leave. To leave something I'm passionate about. Something I'm good at.. I thought about what it would feel to get out of the comfort zone I'm in. And go to a less `comfortable' place.. or maybe even a more comfortable place. And I thought, could I go through it? Would I eventually do it?

I don't have the answers yet. Maybe I just have to do it to find out. Maybe.

May Allah guide your Mama to the right path..

Till next time.  XOXO

ps/ you telling me a lot lately that you like it when I stay at home and not go to work adds on the pressure!.. :D

pss/ omg! After I wrote this post, I went browsing through my older posts, and discovered I actually wrote about this same topic 3 years ago.. lol.. Maybe I'm just going through a phase.. maybe.. arrgh!

Friday, May 15, 2015

I've missed you

I'm sorry. I meant to write.. But I've been busy living a life.. Hah. 
But seriously, I have..
Will come back to these shores soon. 

Wait for me!


Wednesday, December 31, 2014

to sum it up

It's that time of the year when everyone reflects on what the whole year has meant to them. On our part of the world, it's been pretty clear that 2014 has been a year of tragedies.. Even if I was not directly involved in any of the calamities, it's fair to say that nobody in our country has been left unaffected by the incidents.. 
Truly Allah is the best of planners and as Muslims we must believe that he gives us trials and tribulations so that we don't forget Him and so that we will learn from it.. It would just be a shame if we came out of these disasters not being educated on the beauty that lies within the mess..
On a personal note with you dear Khadeeja,.. Mama has learned (and is still learning) the art of patience. As much as I think one of the solutions is for you to have a sibling (if only it were that simple), I'm happy to be the one playing with you and hearing you talk.. Boy you can say a lot these days you smarty pants.. ;) You can tell me stories, sulk, be cheeky (very) and demanding all at once.. The only thing I haven't been able to help you with yet is potty train you... And that will be a story for another post.. 
And so I bid this year goodbye and hope that 2015 will be a year of growth, healing, forgiving, caring, nurturing and all good things for us and mankind.. 
And I hope I won't abandon this blog that long too!
Have a happy new year everyone!